MADE WOMAN

        MADE WOMAN

 

I intimidate a weak man,

not with my words or my curves,

but with my accomplishments.

I have the same degrees as him,

sat in the same class as he,

Became so qualified I failed to be his secretary

Failed at playing second when I have all the qualities to be first.

 

I love deeply,

But I'm not desperate.

I wanna be married and have kids,

But I also want to be a provider.

I know my place in a man's world

and that's not only in his kitchen or in his bed,

I am too strong for that.

I am his rib, and bone is stronger than sand.

I love my man, and he would feel so lucky to have me.

 

I am a made woman,

not cos of my degrees and money in the bank,

not cos of the fact that I can make knowledgeable arguments

or that I can switch roles from the boardroom to the bedroom.

I am a made woman cos in a man's world I stand tall,

In my relationships, I ensure that my man won't for another lady, fall,

I don't make him worry about my wants cos I can satisfy them.

I would be his Beyonce, he won't have a choice but be my Jigga.

 

You say I'm proud cos I scare men away,

You say I'm proud cos I won't marry this or that.

I'm so made I won't settle for less.

I'm so made I ate the apple first cos man was blind to explore.

I don't scare men, unless those scared of success,

I'm not proud, for I would make a humble wife and make my man proud.

When I say I do, he would smile till his dying day,

for he didn't just get a wife,

He also got a made woman.

 

 

 

THE JOYS OF SELF DISCIPLINE

THE JOYS OF SELF DISCIPLINE

I know, most people would be wondering why I named this article the way I did, but be patient, read through it and you'd agree with me that there really is joy to be derived from being self disciplined. Self discipline is a term many of us make mentally when we want to get some things done, it's that inner voice that keeps pushing us to do more, to achieve, to strive and to accomplish, but do we take time to listen to that inner voice and even when we do listen, our not-so willing flesh refuses to act in the way our mind has urged us to.

Self discipline starts from within and the effects are seen without. The ability to keep promises one makes to self is the highest form of self discipline for it's only when we can keep the promises we make to ourselves, we can then try to keep the ones we make to other people.

Every year, we make resolutions, we resolve to drop some pounds, finish up on something we've been procrastinating on, avoid most of our bad habits and try to be nice to the people around us, we make many beautiful resolutions and then we get shocked when on the second day of the year we find that we're back to our old self, we've even added more pound in under 24 hours and we've shelved the stuff we're supposed to be working on, procrastinating it again till the next year's resolution. But first, what's that self discipline, I'm rattling about? I call it that invincible magic within us that make us want to achieve, make us want to sacrifice the present pleasures for a future good, self discipline is that determination to keep at it, regardless of the distractions within and around us, the determination to ensure that we keep to deadlines and not keep asking for extra hours to finish what we're supposed to have finished two hours ago. Exercising self-discipline can make the difference between an averagely talented person doing something amazing with their lives and a naturally talented person realizing very little of their potential. Self-discipline makes you happier; it gives you that sense of real achievement earned through sheer intensity of sustained focus. If you really want to succeed at a task, then self discipline is essential.

 Now, self discipline don't just apply to tasks we need to get done, it also applies to habits we need to change, improve or stop altogether. We all have various forms of addiction; drugs, sex, porn, video games, the internet, laziness (yes, laziness is also an addiction, hell, it's even the foundation of all the other addictions), etc...you can add your own addictions, but we're all guilty to one or two or all of these addictions and we need self discipline to combat this. The question now is what do you do with your free time? Do you spend it improving yourself or you spend it indulging yourself in something foolish? Yeah, I know most of us have the mindset to just live for the moment, saying life is short, and they would want to get all the fun they could possibly get, but let me break it to you, all that fun ain't good for you if you don't know how to manage it or control yourself while indulging in it. Life isn't some waiting room in which to 'kill time' with repetitive self-amusements. Self-discipline, like a muscle, can be developed. If we were raised in a disciplined environment, we may find it easier to be self-disciplined, but we can all develop more. Celebrities have never been more visible in our culture. Famous sportspeople, wonderful actors, and musicians are all over the media. But what we don't see are the thousands of hours of super-focused work these people have put in behind the scenes.

It's easy to feel that success comes easily; that it's just a question of self-belief. But anyone who has achieved anything has done so because they've been able to control and direct their own inner lives and actions to the extent that has enabled them to become super-able at what they do.
It's really not easy to be self disciplined, I won't lie and tell you it is, but the truth is that, it really is possible to be self disciplined. Nothing good comes easy, the tortoise only makes progress when its head sticks out, stick yourself out from the lazy crowd, be productive,  be disciplined enough to make impact, don't settle for good when you can do better, don't sit down burning calories on your couch when you can go work out, go get that task you've been procrastinating on, it's really not as hard as you think. Always make it a point of duty to finish whatever you start, never stop half way. Every morning, get up (yes do, please get up!) and tell yourself: "Today is not over until I have done..." – whatever you need to do that day. Literally, you can't finish your day until what you set out to do has been done. I'm not kidding. Respect yourself enough to keep your own promises to yourself.

At the end of the day, when you look back to see that you really accomplished something you set out to do that day, you won't just go to bed tired, you'd also feel happy enough to set another task for the next day and then the day after that, lighting the world with your energy and leaving a mark.

I AM TRAYVON

                  I AM TRAYVON

By now you already know the verdict,
Zimmerman walks free.
Stay away from Zimmerman's street,
else you'd end up on injustice tree.
I am Trayvon
what was my crime?
The white man said I was black
That I had my hoodie on,
He also said I wrestled with him.
He had a gun, and I was just 17.

You are Trayvon,
the system don't have justice for you.
You're Trayvon,
five white women found my killer innocent.
He claimed self defense,
I attacked him with the color of my skin
and he blocked my attack with gunshots.

My family weeps
as my dreams are permanently gone under the hoodie of injustice,
America, my America....
I am Trayvon,
I didn't choose to be black, God made me so.
I didn't choose to be killed, Zimmerman made that choice.
I know you weep for me,
wipe your tears, put on a hoodie,
Yes I was shot,
yes I was killed,
but I live. 
Zimmerman May have shot me,
but he dies daily in his conscience.

A WOMAN DIFFERENT

A WOMAN DIFFERENT

She is a mother,
a sister,
a wife,
a friend.
She's God's answer to man's question,
she reminds you daily to count your blessings.
24hours are never enough to show her love,
she encourages, motivates and inspires.

No you won't see her trying to front.
you'd feel it when she loves.
She has just few words,
her actions do all the talking.
No, she won't tell you she's given up on men,
yes she's been hurt, but that makes her strong.
Yes, her heart has been broken,
but with the pieces she still wanna try.


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Link to purchase my new book!!

***** WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS? *****

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 ***** WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS? *****

Two days ago, I logged on to my Facebook page and was surprised at the number of friend requests I got. A 105 friend requests from complete strangers, most were people that must have read one of my poems, articles and short stories on some of the groups I wrote on and others were mutual friends to the friends already on my page. Now, having that deluge of friend requests was not what surprised me. What really surprised me was that none of the people were Africans. There were mostly Americans and a few British folks. I started to wonder where my Nigerian brothers and sisters were. Now, that's not the basis for this piece.

Social networking sites are not places we just log into to ogle at pictures and like or post comments, it's also a place where friendships are made and cultures and beliefs are exchanged. Social Networks has brought along with it many bridges to the wide berth that separates Africa from Asia and The Americas from Europe. Since we can easily make friends on these Social Networking sites, what holds us back from having relationships as well? Isn't it the norm for lovers to first start as friends? Why then are we boxing up our feelings by not giving in to that desire to get to know that person behind your screen that makes you feel special? 
The best friends I've made in all of my 25 years were folks I met online, I've never met them in person but they've touched my life in ways my next door neighbor has not even gotten close to. Sometimes, I wonder what is it then that holds most people back from having online relationships. Is it the bad stories you've heard or the bitter experiences you've had?
Some'd say African men are aggressive, Nigerian men are scam artists, Africans are back ward, African ladies are this and that and all Africans need online relationships for is to get a Green card, and now, I want to categorically say that all those assumptions are wrong!!!! You can't pass judgment on a whole race just because of what the media has fed you with or on what your friends might have told you. When you have bias towards everything, even matters that concerns the heart, then you really are not ready for love. I'm no advocate for just online relationships; I'm only just pissed at how biased people tend to be towards online relationships.

Last night, I was going through my news feed when I came across this beautiful picture of a man kissing this lovely woman, then I looked below the picture and read the short story that explained how the couple met. They met online on one of those pages that's populated mostly by those single ladies and gents that would sit in the comfort of their homes, trading bad stories about why interracial relationships are not good, or why long distance relationships are bad and would never work, but when I looked at the picture last night, I laughed at hundreds of people that liked the picture and the many more hundreds that congratulated the couple. Every one of those people that commented failed to mention that only 3 months ago, they were the same people advising the lady in the picture to shun away from African men professing love to them over the internet. The couple met 8 months ago and with TRUST, COMPROMISE AND COMMUNICATION, she risked her comfort by making the 13 hours flight to go see her Romeo and now, they are engaged and would be getting married in June.
Now, tell me. What are those things that make you wary about online long distance relationships?

* Is it the need to feel that physical touch of a lover? You are SINGLE, tell me who is touching you or who you are touching.

* Is it the stories your friends must have told you about bitter experiences? Now, you know yourself that nothing spreads faster than bad news, are you going to base your happiness on hearsays or personal experiences? All relationships have their good and bad times, learn to also seek out good news of the couples that made it work and don't just sit on your behind, saying 'online relationships are not for me because of what this and that said.

* Is it the need for communication? One thing you must know is that online relationships are for serious minded adults. Fact that you are 25 or 50 doesn’t really make you an adult. Would you rather be in a relationship with that man/woman who you can't have a normal conversation with? Statistics says 3 in 10 relationships now start online and with the rate at which technological advancements are creeping up on us, you really have no excuse not to be able to keep your communication going. By communication, I'm not talking about just poking and liking someone's pictures and comments or following them all over twitter as if they knew where they were even going. Communication has gone way beyond that. Any of you ever heard of whatsapp messenger? That's what I use when I see someone I really want to be close to, that way, I get to put a voice to the pretty face on Face book and also get to know if they are for real, and there are always phone calls, Skype, voxer and oovoo. You really have no excuse at not being able to communicate with someone you really like. You can also spice up your communication, there's still letter writing. I know we are gradually forgetting how to write letters but how did you feel in high school when you read or wrote a love letter to and from someone you had feelings for? Relive that moment.

* Is it the time difference and expensive long distance calls? Now, that's where compromise and sacrifice comes in. You can't put a price tag on love and if you really are serious about getting to know this person, you can both work out a schedule that'd be okay for you two to chat and get to know each other better. Make it as point to call that person at least once in a week as your finances would allow.

* Are your friends the reason? I know it sounds funny when you try explaining to your friends that you've met someone online that you are really having feelings for. They might look at you as strange or maybe in need of some counseling to want to have a relationship with someone you've never even met. Now one question for you. Are those your friends in relationships themselves? It's always the single people that give reasons on why you should never try being in an online relationship. Now, are you going to let your friends determine your happiness by letting them box in your feelings? Love is one feeling that you can't suppress no matter how hard you try. It's like trying to hold your breath for 5 minutes.

* All African men are scam artists, aggressive, unfaithful and African women are backward, all they want is a green card? Are you for real? When's the last time you made friends with African folks and found out that they weren't way brighter than the bad brush that's been used to paint them? One thing you must know about Africans is that they love their families and treat their women with respect. An African man would never abandon his kids. I know I won't. Another thing you should also know is that the modern day African is not polygamous; the 'baby mama' syndrome has not found its way to our shores. I can categorically say Africans love better than most of you have been led to believe. You really need to stop with the stereotype, Africa may have her own problems, like every other continent, but one thing you must know is that many Africans are happy staying at home, but would give up the world to go meet with someone they are in love with, no matter where that person is. That's one of the reasons why most African men would prefer the woman travels down to Africa. We've been abused for so long. If a man decides to travel to the US to go meet with someone he loves, why must it seem that he's just travelling because he wants to have a green card? He can't travel for love? 

*  Would you want to be with someone far away that desperately want to be with you or would you just remain single waiting on that next door neighbour to notice you? He/she just wants casual sex, but that man/woman that's far away, wants more than just that. You two can make arrangements on how best to meet and then take off from there.

Now, tell me, WHAT'S YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS?
Are you married? Good for you.
Are you engaged? Wishing you all the best.
Are you in a relationship? Now, that's one giant step, you need to have the courage to take the last two steps.
Are you single? Now, this post is for you. What's holding you back? Past experiences or things your friends said?

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WHAT HE WANTS

WHAT HE WANTS

Oftentimes, I just wonder what it is with some women that make them not to have long lasting relationships especially when they've gotten a good man. Everyman, no matter how accomplished he is, always wants a companion by his side, someone to support and encourage him, someone to love him and someone to clean his tears when he does cry. Every man needs a WOMAN, just as every woman needs a MAN and she must not always be his mother. Now, a man is always moved by what he sees, that's why society ascribes that men tend to be more unfaithful than women. Now, ladies, you know a man is always moved by what he sees, what is it that stops you from maintaining that image he had of you when he first met you? You were classy once, sexual and romantic too. Has marriage and the long relationship robbed you of all that? Reclaim your old YOU!!! Make him ogle at you again, remind him of that old feeling when all he wanted to see was you...... More to share in my upcoming novel..Purchase my new book!!! Follow the link
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HOME IS WHERE I AM

HOME IS WHERE I AM

Nothing's better than family warmth,
put all the world's wood in your fire place,it'd surely drive out the cold,but won't replace what can't be bought:
Laughter, tears, memories and aromas
from mama's kitchen.
Looking at the pictures on the walls,
journeying back to childhood,
where innocence wrapped her arms around you...
And mama was your best friend.

Every picture tells a story...
Oops, that's when I lost my front teeth.
That's me and my brother..*dabs a tear
that's me and my daddy....*looks away.
And now, that's my mama...looking resplendent...
See my sisters too, they looked so tiny behind this glass.

Mama says food's ready,
now, I know that noise was my stomach rumbling and not the music from my phone.
Home is where you can eat whatever and however you want.
Home is where you can eat and forget about some table manners.
Home is where meals on the dinner table end with stories of the past and promises of the future.
Home is the vault of secrets, laughter, love and tears.

Put another wood in the fire.
Drive away the cold,
but don't interrupt family warmth.
No matter how far you are,
no matter how long you've been away,
home is where your heart really is.
Home is where your mother waits.
Home is where your woman, your wife waits with a heart that holds you.
Home is where your kids are never ashamed to call you dad or mom.

Home is where I now am.

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